You will be ok in time. Your story sounds alot like mine. I will be naming this other lover in the divorce preceedings. I just can not wait to see his face when he finds out how I caught him.

I discovered my husband was texting another woman. For three months I read the messages until he saw me with his phone. I comfronted him and he denied an afair. He deleted the messagees and said there wasn't any in his phone. He even denied knowing the woman. When I saw the first set of texts I called the number and she answered the phone. She answered three other times but once I confronted my husband she stopped answering blocked numbers. Once I called using his phoone she picked up and when she heard my voice she hung up. I text her and told her I knew about her. She got her daughter to call me to say my husband was her mother's friend. She promised her mother will call me. She never did. I then texted her again this time I told her that she will be named in my divorce proceedings. She replied immediately and said that my husband was an old friend of the family and he and her boyfriend are good friend.I never heard about her before. If he was an old friend of the family I would have met her. When he was confronted he never mentioned that. However, he is now telling me he knew her mother and brotherinlaw. When confronted that there were pictures of them he responded " any pictures, they are inocent, I cant stop people from taking pictures of me. he added that her brother in law had social gathering he attended with other people on the job and she was there. He even told me that a coworker father died and he saw her at the funeral.This lead me to believe she is a coworker. I said to her, since my husband is your boyfriend's "good griend" then I guess your boyfriend will be happy to see the messages between his GOOD FRIEND and his so call girl friend. My husband still does not admit to an affair, so I asked him to call her so that I can listen in to the conversation, he agreed but continues to make excuses, either its too early or too late. I finally said forget it. I know there was an affair and it has been for many years because I had found that same name and number in his work phone. I wrote the name and number because it was a frequent number in his phone.  My husband begged me to give him another chance, that it would never happen again, yet he will not explain the text messages. Still denies the affair. I have consulted with a lawyer and will get a divorce from him. He was hardly home anyway, you can't miss someone that was never there, anyway. I would call him twenty times and he would not answer. There are times that I called him and somehow the phone was on and I have heard loud voices including his voice and a woman voice, music, like it was a bar or a party. He would come home till the next morning. I saw my husband about two hours a week. Just briefly, for ten to fifteen minutes in the evening or at night. This is the ultimate betrayal by someone I was with for more than thirty years. Its been four month of hell. The day I found out, something died inside of me. He is telling me he loves me and doesnt want a divorce and at the same time doesnt admit to the affair. He had not sat down with me and explain although,  he thinks he did. I cannot live with a man I cant trust. I will never be able to trust him again. I am looking forward to a new life. I havent given up on marriage. I will be happy again. I know I can never try to work it out and save the marriage. Once the trust is gone, its gone. I do not want to live every moment question myself, if i stay with him. Once a cheater always a cheater. I do not want to feel this way agail. I will be O.K once he is out of my life.